itch.io

an absolutely wonderful little game!!! loved it so much I don't even know what to begin with. the whole setting - the cute baby penguin, the lighting, the snow and the fact we leave traces in it (I drew a dick when I discovered it. was super happy. isn't there a theory that if a player finds out they're able to draw, they'll instantly draw a dick?)... everything is heartwarming. but what got to me the most was the narration. it felt like i was inside of a bedtime fairytale my mom used to read to me when I was a kid. thank you for making such a sweet game.

there are just two issues I would like to highlight: I have a pretty powerful PC, not super high-end but okay for high settings in many games (16 gb ram, intel core i7, and GeForce GTX 1050 Ti with 4096 mb memory). i was surprised when I saw FPS dropping. it went higher at some point, but the playing process didn't feel smooth. and it made my laptop to warm up to... i didn't measure how much, but hey, not every demanding AAA title makes it this hot. 

the other issue is that the narrator's voice at some points was drowning (a bit) in music. must be something with mixing, i guess? I am not a native English speaker, and I guess it wouldn't be hard for a native to retrieve some words lost in music, but to me it was something of an additional, though in no way exhausting, challenge. it didn't spoil my overall impression.

spoilers ahead, please look away if you haven't played the game yet.

at first, I was captivated by the game's incredible visual style. but when I started playing, I found out that things that I did because I wanted to (like meeting a goth gf) were rewarded with another girl dying and me being guilty for it. uhm... okay, it took the game 15 minutes to make me a bad guy. let's try being a good guy now! in my second playthrough, i did nothing except babysitting may (who, despite my best efforts, remained very persistent about killing herself), and got the 'best' possible outcome, which is... may is alive. wow! was this supposed to inspire me? in what way?

but I'll get to that later. so, the best ending is the one where when we don't even talk to the other girl, don't do anything out of the 'save may' lane, and literally subdue our smallest actions to may's needs? great! the message here is hard to miss ('don't overlook the signs, someone may be crying out for help while you don't even notice'), but the story deliberately leaves out this: keeping a wounded, problematic, deeply disfuctional individual from commting a suicide is VERY heavy, burdening and in no way romantic. (been there. should have listened to the trigger warning. nauseating.) 

what have we got instead? the game's visuals are stunning, its atmosphere powerful, but all the artistic magnificence serves a superficial story that basically romanticizes suicide. i've read some comments from below, the 'I/my friend wanted to commit suicide, and I cried my eyes out', and you know what? i think the only way for a player to enjoy this game is to associate themselves with may. if somebody is hurt, suffering or depressed, it's easy for them to accept the message so easily reversed: I am in pain! if you don't give me attention, I'll die! My fate is not in my hands, it is in yours! how comforting it must be, for a 'maylike' player, to feel that somewhere, in a beautifully painted wonderful world, they are finally getting the unlimited attention they craved. 

to a player without this scorching desire to be tenderly cared about, the game feels different. when you prevent someone's suicide, your reaction is a mix of relief, fear, and anger (with a burst of affetion if you rescue your loved one - a classic hurt/comfort cliche). when I saved may, I just rolled my eyes. i didn't associate myself with her, I didn't want to take care of her because I didn't care about her, I just wanted to live my life like I do in reality.  and this is.... the most horrifying part, because in reality, when you leave someone and go to a date just to return later and find that person dead by suicide, it is SUPER hard to convince yourself that their blood is NOT on your hands - but your game is telling us that it actually IS! The most obvious way to play, to do our thing and go to a date, leads to May's death, and it is CLEARLY SHOWN that it's our fault.

so real the message is this. if someone, even a person we don't really know and care about, commits suicide after you didn't do something the way they wanted/needed you to do, it is your fault. their life is not in their hands. their decision doesn't belong to them, but depends on how much attention you pay to their wellbeing, even if it costs you your own personal life. and this isn't just stupid, this is dangerous for all those gentle mayflowers out there who would accept the idea not as 'help others' but 'others should help me', killing themselves if not surrounded with unconditional love and care.

tldr: the visuals are gorgeous, but the writing sucks, and the whole point is unhealthy.